This topic for me, Conquors more than just one area. I feel like if we can grasp this train of thought I am going to tell you, it will help build:
In order for us to gain trust in others and more specifically our partners in relationships we have to first understand that we don’t need to trust anyone. The only person in this entire world you need to trust is yourself, that is all. We can put our faith in others that they will treat us with the respect that we deserve. But ultimately we cannot control what they do or how they feel. Though we sometimes wish we did.
If your partner is going to cheat, lie, or fall in love with someone else that is their choice and we can’t control that. I used to be that annoying controlling boyfriend that would get so antsy the moment I heard “Girls night out!” that I would stir up an argument and fight only due to my own insecurities. In the end, the relationship is going to fail. He or she will grow tired of your lack of self esteem and become attracted to someone else. It’s inevitable and human nature.
What we can control, is how we decide to handle such heartbreak and betrayal. Yes, you’re going to hurt for awhile and it can be even worse with social media slapping us in the face constantly, the next little while is going to suck. But if we can grow to trust ourselves that we can and will get through it and deal with anything life throws at us, we can then live without fear. We will survive. We will find new love. We will learn from past experiences and take them to the next relationship. That is how we grow. You will say irrational things like “I’ll never find someone as great as them”. No one can see into the future so we can immediately label that statement a lie. It’s normal to think irrationally. But, once we recognize those thoughts are simply not true it makes the healing process easier, quicker, and less painful. Trust yourself!
If anyone can share relationship experiences, please do.
Now then? How do we gain self esteem?