“Jared” part 10

750$?! He replied. His brain started to race in his head trying to remember all the times that mark covered for him while partying. There was no way in hell he had spent that much. Mark kept insisting that’s what was owed.  For the next few days Jared’s cell phone was off. Avoiding any kinds of conflicts with Mark, he wanted to give his wife, kids and newborn his full undivided attention.  He begins to stay home on weekends and even looked into counselling that was covered by insurance.  He had learned a lot about himself that he never thought of through this new experience.  The problems that had a occurred when he was a child had been affecting him today. 

The anti-socialism, low self esteem, and now the addictive personality.  We don’t think to ourselves that events that happened 20 years ago would still play a role in our lives today but they do.  We carry that weight around with us until our backs begin to ache.  Ever felt that? Seems like your back ache just started happening on its own didn’t it.  Wasn’t like you lifted something heavy and broke your back. It’s achy, not a stinging pain.  And the addictive personality was him craving what he never had, which was friendship and loyalty.  No matter the cost, as long as he fit in with the others, he was happy.  The problem with that was, he was miserable and depressed the other 6 days of the week.  Doesn’t seem worth it when you put it like that.  

Jared and the psychologist both agree that the healing needs to begin with his younger self.  Through meditation and conversations Jared had been avoiding his whole life, the healing process had begun.  His insecurities, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, depression, anxieties and stress had been keeping him down his whole life. All day. Everyday. For the past 20+ years.  The mental breakdown was a ticking time bomb. The only time he didn’t feel those mental illnesses was when he was drunk or high, Now you tell me why people tend to get addicted to drugs and alcohol? 

When he drank he felt happier than ever, until the drinking picked up, and increased dramatically.  The highs we feel from substances are fraudulent. It isn’t real. They give us this idea that if we drank enough it would solve all our problems.  We were happier, more out-going, friendlier, less anxious, and stress free.  

The problem with that was, to quote sir Issac Newton “what goes up, must come down”.  Self explanatory, it’s impossible for humans to experience that kind of euphoria all day, all the time.  Your brain and body need time to rest.  There are much better ways in conquering these mental illnesses to maintain a balanced long healthy life!  When your stable, the things around you become more stable. Your bills, your income, but more importantly your relationship to yourself, your family and your friends.  As great as having money to spend feels, we cannot take it with us when we pass away.  Jared had been neglecting his family and realizes all the pain he’s been causing.  This is never going to be an overnight cure.  It takes time and effort to regain some emotions we left behind growing up.  Life can sure beat you down,  but you can also become resilient with the right knowledge to fight back. 

To Be Continued 

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